Hard Morning

Today is the first time the phrase, "It's different when it is your child" really hit me. I worked in daycare nearly 7 years and have assured many parents that their crying child will be okay and ready to play before Mom even gets to the car. I don't think I ever had a child not settle down minutes after Mom has left. "Trust me Mom, they will be just fine."

Even knowing that and reminding myself of it several times this morning, I still couldn't control the tears after leaving Cameron at school. Yep, it was my child that came running down the hall crying before I got out the door. Originally she was fine and said good bye to me and I walked to the door and stopped just for a second to read a bulletin board and all of a sudden I could hear her cry and here she came running. 20 minutes latter I was forced to hand her over to Miss Anne and walk away. The tears (mine) started before I got to the parking lot. Travis was out there in his truck. He had stopped on his way to work. I even told him I knew she would be just fine, but my heart broke for several hours this morning. All my experience of that kind of situation just went right out the window. Ugh!

This afternoon I was anxious to pick her up so I left a tad bit earlier then I needed to. I saw her right away when I walked in and she was all smiles (much different than yesterday afternoon and this morning). She was excited to show me her art project and tell me what she did. Miss Anne said she did just fine and only cried a few minutes. She was again asking to go back tomorrow. I know it is just an adjustment period. I did however decide that she will go all summer instead of every other week. I don't want to chance her getting comfortable these next 2 days and then having a week off and then have to start all over again. That wouldn't be fair to her and it would be hard on Mom too. :o) So she will be going half days all summer.

I will be interested to see how tomorrow morning goes. I don't think it will be as hard on me though since I know she enjoyed the day and she was in great spirits when I picked her up. It helps to assure me that she will indeed be fine after I leave. If she does cry tomorrow I will not be staying as long as I did today. I will hand her to Miss Anne and go. Sticking around just prolongs her anxiety about me leaving.


Jen said...

Awww... I went through the same thing with all three of my kids. Even though two of them started in daycare when they were just babies. At some point, they still develop a separation anxiety and cry for Mom when she leaves. I would walk into work blubbering about what a horrible mother I was (knowing inside it wasn't true, but still feeling guilty).

Good for you for deciding to keep her in the whole summer. She will have so much fun! And you're right that it will give her the consistency she needs to really enjoy it. To this day, even having a week off from school gets my younger ones out of their routine, and they get anxious when they go back.

Dawn said...

Sending lots of hugs your way!

Elisabeth said...

Awwwwww.....I went with the same thing with Emily the first day at daycare. I cried all the way to work. But after that day, she was fine.